Tutoring bites
by Obsessed-fan
Summary: When Justin has to tutor Richard for Biology.. Hiden feelings arise inside of Richard through his word prossesr.. but what happens when Justin gets a hold of Richards Lap top?! Find out!
1. Default Chapter

Dear Journal, 

Time: 2:37am

Today was probably one of the worst days I've had in a looong time. Not only did Lisa break up with me because she found out that I'm into guys but Justin Pendleton came over for our first session of tutoring and I've found myself quite attracted to him! More than I thought I was. Of all the guys it's.. Justin!? 

Now, I've been trying to rack my brain over and over for what I could possibly see in him and.. Nothing! I Just can' think of one THING! Well ,except for the fact he's got such girlish lips.. And he speaks real soft too… Oh and uhm. Yeah and he's also got these amazing blue eyes that just.. Kinda get me lock- Oh my god! Listen to me! Shit, well I guess there are a few reasons why I find myself attracted to him. Now, how am I going to stop liking him is the real problem at hand… Why do I have to be so stupid?! 

This is Justin we're talking about! I can't just go around flirting and spying on him and stocking him like a crazed girl in love.. I Can't! I'm not! And I will NEVER! Whatever feelings I've been building up since the 9th grade is..is… It's just over! I mean, we talk now! I mean, we have to talk now.. He's gotta get me through this stupid Biology class… I've never talked to the dork! He's just been nice eye candy from a fare.. And well.. When he's sitting next to me talking, It gets pretty …. Weird? Jesus Christ. I can't even type anything out on this stupid possessor because he's got me so flustered.. I Dunno, I think I just need some sleep. In the morning I'm sure what EVER feelings I've been having for Justin will just.. GO away… 

God, I'm such a bad liar

-Rich

_________________

Richard shut down his lap top and sighed as the screen went blank. " What.. The fuck.. Dude.." He pressed his palms into his eyes while tilting his head back against the wall. " What am I going to do…." He whispered to himself. " What am I going to do….." Richard stared blankly at his TV. There were feelings inside him for Justin and he knew they would never go away. They'd been there for quite some time and now they were getting worse.. Or were they getting better? 

Half tempted he picked up the remote to turn on the tube, ' Ahh… fuck it." He tossed it to the floor and pulled the covers up close to shoulders. Justin… Justin was on his mind. Not girls, not school, not college, nothing but Justin. Richard groaned, " NooOOooo. Justin, why you? You stupid little piece of shit.." He grinned with closed tired eyes. " Yeah, that's what you are. A stupid little piece of…" He started to drift off to sleep as he kept speaking.. " …sex…yness …."

*** 

The sound of Richards Alarm clock jolted him from his sleep " OH GOD!!" He grabbed the clock " Wholly shit! I'm gonna be SO late." Wait a second, why did he care if he was going to be late? Being late was Richards way of being on time.. It was Fashionably late. In the middle of pulling his jeans on, he thought. Oh-yeah, now we remember why we care so much about being at school on time for History. Justin. Richard groaned in frustration again. " DAMNIT!" The feelings weren't gone.. And they weren't going to go anywhere… He grabbed his keys by the door and was off. Another school day with Justin in it… weird how someone can change how you look at things. 

Later that afternoon torturing session number 2 was about to take place. Justin parked his car in front of Richards huge house. He gazed up at the windows from the drivers seat. " God, why the hell do you need a house that .. Big?" He said to himself before pulling the keys from the ignition. 

From inside Richard heard the muffled sound of the car door. Oh shit! He was there! Okay.. Just play it cool.. Nothing is wrong. It's gross brainy Justin. Not sexy hot kissable Justin.. No! No sir! Richard quickly ran down the stars as if to be 10 years old on Christmas morning. He reached the front door just a second early before Justin tried to ring to door bell. " Hey!" Richard said in a pant of breath. Justin leaned back " Uhm, Hi!" He shifted his eyes around trying not to look at Richard as he huffed. " Why are you panting? Is this a bad time?" Richard opened the door all the way. "What? Piish..No!" He snorted. " Of course not.. I was just," Richard hunted for an excuse for why he was so excited to reach the front door. "..Just working out!" Richard grinned with a smile full of teeth. Justin walked into the entryway, "I'm sure." 

Richard shut the front door as Justin walked further into the open living room. "So uhm, Do you want anything to drink or eat before we get started?" Richard fidgeted with his thumb ring. Oh GOD! Stop it! He smacked his own hand while Justin wasn't looking. Justin spun around, "Richard?! What was that?" 

Richard shifted and tried to find a place on his body for his hands " W-what was what, Justin?" He grinned innocently. " That noise." he replied. " Oh.. That?" He smacked his neck. " Oh I think there's a fly in here or.. Something." He stupidly looked up and around then back at Justin. " Okay wait a second." Justin said as he smiled slightly and put all his weight to one side. He put his hand in front of him " Are you on crack or something Richard?" Richard laughed nervously ," haha. No-noo.. W-why you ask that?" He unconsciously scratched a spot on his neck. Justin threw his bag over onto the couch " Cuz you're like so weird today!" 

Mmmkay! He's on to ya! Do something! Quick! Think fast! " Listen buddy, I think you just need to sit down and .. I'll get us something to drink and eat. I mean, hey, its like 3:30 and I'm starving." Justin slowly lowered himself down onto the couch as he watched Richard play Mommy or something. "Okay.. I'll just have a bottled water and whatever you bring to eat.." Richard nodded with hands clasped together " Okay! I can do that." He took off walking into the Kitchen. 

Justin thumbed through his bag for something. " Hey Richard?!" From the kitchen he answered back nervously " Yeah!" Justin pulled out a CD. " I'm just gonna go ahead and get started! Can I put the Disk in your Lap Top?" Never had Richard ever dreamed he'd hear Justin yelling! Of course this how two people talk when one is in the other room. Richard pulled a few drinks from the fridge. " Yeah! It's already turned on!" Justin scooted over to where the Lap top was resting. Before putting the Biology disk in he noticed an icon on Richards Desk top titled " Journal." Justin quickly lifted his head to see if Richard was in sight. Nope! No Richard, for he was too busy in the kitchen trying to grab something good to eat. The Boy was starving. "weeell.. Whats this?" Justin whispered to himself mischievously. He double clicked the icon and up popped up Richards latest entry…. 

Title : Justin

Justin swallowed hard as he read his name in the title. He was kinda afraid of what he'd find. Slowly he began reading the entry Richard had written last night. His eyes skimmed over the words as his heart raced! What had he found! Oh god.. What was this he was reading?! Richard walked into the living room with snacks but stopped dead in his tracks as he saw Justin hunched over at his Lap top. reading a very familiar word processor.. With in seconds of hearing Richard walk back into the living room Justin turned to lock eyes with Richard. " What the … fuck…?" Justin breathed out with tears in his eyes…. Richard put the food down. " Justin…" Justin stood up and grabbed his bag. " Is this some kind of SICK JOKE!?" Richard gestured his hands in a lowering manner as he tried to calm Justin " No, Justin… Just.." 

Richard tried so hard not to get mad at Justin. After all, he was the stupid git that left it un-password protected!! Justin's whole body shivered as he stood in the Haywood house. " NO! I'm leaving.!" Justin couldn't look at Richard as he ran out of the house. " Justin. WAIT!" Richard grabbed his arm before he bolted out the front door. 

Justin turned his head to face Richard. His messy blonde strands stuck to his cheeks from the tears. " DON'T TOUCH ME, YOU FAG!" Richard took a gasp for air as Justin's piercing blue eyes stared at him angrily with the ugly words spilling from his beautiful lips. Justin smacked Richards arm off his own as ran as fast as he could to his Volvo. "JUSTIIN! L-Let me explain!" He pleaded as he ran down the front steps trying to beat Justin before he started his car.. But he was too late. Justin had already started and was now pulling out of the Driveway. " Nooo!" Richard stood stupidly in his driveway as he watched Justin speed down the road. "DAMNIT!!…FUCK!" How stupid could he have been to leave it like that on the coffee table!? Fuck!! Now he had really screwed up things…. And it was then when he realized he liked Justin more than he did before. The warm tears slowly formed in his blue eyes as he gazed down into the valley from his house. What was he going to do now? 

To be continued! 


	2. Tutoring Part 2

"Lisa!" Justin whispered loudly up to her bedroom window. "Liisaa! Wake up!" He huffed in the cool air and his breath was visible. Justin shifted from side to side as he waited for a sign. Any sign! No Light.. No nothing… "Damnit" he whispered to himself then began to search for a few pebbles in the wet grass. 

Once found, he threw a few up to her window pane. 

The light tapping of stones gathered Lisa's attention from her bed. " What the hell?" She rubbed her lazy eyes with a groan. Lisa stumbled over to her window to find out what was going on. From down below Justin took a few steps back as he saw the pale blonde gaze out her window then down at him. "Justin?!" Quickly she raised her window to speak to him. " Justin! What are you doing here?" She whispered. 

Justin rolled the pebbles in his hand. "We-we need to talk Lisa.. I have to talk to you about something." he swallowed hard as he looked up at her. Lisa slightly shook her head. " Sure. But.. It's really late Justin. Can't this wait till tomorrow or something?" Justin shook his head no. " I've got to talk to you , now. It's important." Lisa padded on the window seal with her palm then looked at her clock. " Okay. .I'll be down in just a minute." 

* * * 

That same night Richard sat in his room alone… in the dark and in frustration. There was nothing he could do to turn back time.. He could only go forward but how? What was he going to do? Would Justin blab? Would everyone find out he was queer? He had never really heard anyone tell him he was gay ..that was, until Justin. 'You FAG!' Richard covered his face with his hands as he flashed back to Justin's outburst. " Oooh god.." He whimpered. Lisa didn't say it out loud. He had never said it out loud himself either. It was Justin that made it perfectly clear and hearable. But it was unbearable! Unbearable because the one he would be queer with wasn't queer at all… 

The tears streamed down his cheeks as he fell back onto his bed and stared up at the dark ceiling. 

" You're such… A.. MORON!" He pounded his fist by his side on the bed. " Fuck!" Richard sniffled his tears away. He couldn't cry like this! What was he thinking?! Just because he was gay didn't mean he had to cry too!.. He sniffed again, trying desperately to gather himself together. Be tough Haywood. Don't be a puss. C'mon on.. Don't do this… He was never that hot anyway…. Richard rolled over on his side tucking his arms close to his chest. "yes he was…" He choked out to himself. " And I wanted him…" He pouted out his thin bottom lip that was slightly quivering. 

With glazed eyes he spotted his black lap top closed, untouched , and resting on his desk. Stupid piece of shit! That's where the problem was! Stupid Computer technology crap! Get rid of it! That's where all the truth lies.. No one knows anything! It would be Justin's word against his… Get rid of it! It's full evidence! Richard quickly jumped to his feet and grabbed his lap top. " I never wanted this stupid thing anyway!" Birthday gift. Ha.. More like Birthday curse! Richard gripped the sides of it as tight as his bony fingers could. He gritted his teeth with frustration too. "Arrrrgg… You.. Fuck!" Throw it out the window! Just do it! You'll feel better! All those feelings will break with the crashing of computer pieces.. Just do it! "I.. I Can't!" He coughed out. As he battled with his heart. " I can't do this…." His grip weakened. Those feelings wouldn't just disappear like magic! It wasn't that simple.. And he'd be wasting a perfectly good piece of something he could sell later or trade in….. 

Richard did something he probably shouldn't have… he turned it on. While he waited for the screen to load he sniffed then licked his lips. Words weren't his best way of expressing his feelings but then again he couldn't make out with Justin so.. Writing would just have to do.. No one ever really listened to him anyway. Why would they? He's got everything he needs. A classic car, money, clothes, girls, popular friends, wit, charm, but the one thing he didn't have was …someone to care about him. Everything was just a lie. None of it was real. All plastic! He was wrapped in a plastic world and now he knew he had to break away.. It was time to be real. But how soon would that time come? When would it come? How could it come…? 

He opened his word processor and began to type.

Dear Trader Of A Sorry Piece Of Shit Journal,

Time: 12:15 am

I almost threw this piece of shit away, You know that? Why did this have to happen?! He READ it! He Fuckin' read it and Christ! He called me a fag! I'm gay! Okay! I said it, well , I mean, I wrote it.. I mean, I typed it.. Damnit, whatever! I just announced it to myself. Okay. So there we go. I'm gay and I need to do something about it. I want him. I want him to want me back.. I need him, I've needed him since I saw him that first day at school. He was such a dork. I-I liked it. Thought it was kinda cute.. He needs someone like me.. Or I need someone like him rather.. I seriously thought that he might be queer to. He sure does look it. He's so… pretty. We'd be great together.. . . . 

Richard stopped in the middle of his typing. Nothing he was writing seemed to come out that was good enough to keep him up all hours of the night. " Fuck this…." He was too sad to try and type positively about Justin…. Richard pressed the delete key then shut down his computer. 

* * * 

Lisa sat in the passenger seat beside Justin in his car. "Justin, why didn't you tell me sooner?" she said with a small smile. Justin felt a little flushed in the face as he confessed his feelings for Lisa. " I..I dunno," His brow crinkled as he looked at the steering wheel. " I guess, I was just afraid to. I mean, you were dating Richard." Lisa snorted. " Yeah well, that was before I found out he was…gay." Justin snapped his head to Lisa. She blinked in shock at how fast he was to react. "J-Justin.. Wow." She laughed nervously," You okay?" 

He slowly relaxed. " Yeah.. I mean. I just.. I didn't know that that's why you two broke up." Lisa crossed her arms. " Justin, are we gonna talk about Richard.. Or are we gonna talk about….us?" She smiled softly. " Us." He replied. " Lisa… I need to kiss you." 

Lisa huffed a short laugh. " Wow, I don't think anyone has ever approached me with kissing in that way before." Justin placed his hand over hers. " I'm serious.." She froze under his deathly cold touch. "O-okay Justin…" Justin then leaned in to give Lisa a kiss that would change things forever…..

To be continued! 


	3. Tutoring Part 3

Richard rolled his ink pen between his teeth as he watched the second tick on the clock in US History. He was early that day. Really early. Why had he gotten to class before just about everyone else? Did he WANT to see the look on Justin's face when he walked through the door? Did he WANT to see Lisa give him a disappointed stare?! Maybe. Or maybe he just wanted to be prepared for class? Fuck that shit. He wanted to see Justin no matter how angry. Were they going to continue their tutoring sessions? How could they? Richard groaned. 

"Ah! Mister Heywood," the US Teacher said as he walked into the class. " It's nice to see you so early and eager to learn!" Richard huffed as he dropped his feet that were resting in the seat in front of him. "Yeah, whatever" he mumbled back. As the clock ticked more and more students began showing up to class. Richard kept his eyes locked on the door with his pen still twirling in his mouth…C'mon.. show up….. C'mon….. Richard started tapping his foot a bit as 2 minutes were left before the bell rang.. Where was Justin? Or, how about Lisa for that matter. Both of them weren't in yet… A sudden rust of worry flew over Richard as he thought that maybe the two of them had conversed about his sexuality.. Oh god, maybe they had talked… Richard scratched his head as his brow wrinkled at the thought. 

" Hhahaah Justin, You need to lighten up!" The familiar light tone jolted Richards attention back to the door. Lisa! He heard her coming and she was coming in with….. Justin?! He tried to act calm and collected.. Richard slouched in his seat and put the pen back in his mouth. Then there they were….. Hand and hand… Richard bit down hard on his pen as his eyes snapped at Lisa and Justin.. The two of them .. Together! Holding hands! Wholly shit! Richard's pen dropped from his mouth as they walked in.. it seemed to all happen in slow motion. Justin was smiling and Lisa was laughing… Nooo.. This isn't how it's suppose to be. He clinched his jaw with anger. His ex-girlfriend WITH the boy of his dream! As Justin sat down in his seat he turned to look over at Richard. His expression was cold. He was trying to give Richard a message… 'I'm not interested!' Justin's eyes burned into Richards pools. Richard quickly jerked his head to the opposite direction. The tapping of his foot increased as he sat in frustration. Oh god.. There was NO way he was going to stay here in class.. No.. No.. Fuck… this wasn't happening… " Fuck" he whispered to himself as he shut his eyes tight. Richard pursed his lips as he wiped his right eye with a very tight swipe of his fingers. He had to do something… He needed to leave.. And FAST! 

Over his shoulder he heard Lisa giggle some more to Justin and Justin responded with a soft giggle. UGH! A giggle.. To HER!! "I'm out of here…" Richard said before grabbing his books. The bell rang just as he stood up. " Mister Heywood. Wadda think you're doing?" The US teacher said. " I'm getting the fuck out of here is what I'm doing!" Richard stormed out of class not caring about how many rules he had just broke and what kind of trouble he'd be getting into. 

Justin swallowed hard as he witnessed Richards tantrum. The sight on Richards face before he stormed out left Justin with a dry taste in his mouth… maybe Richard really was serious about how he felt…. Justin felt a bit sick to his stomach. What was he doing with Lisa? Was he really going to go through with this.. And.. Lie to himself? Justin looked over at Lisa who was looking very puzzled at just what happen. " Wow?" She said sarcastically. "That was crazy.." She opened her book and began flipping through pages as if it was a normal every day thing for Richard to get like that. Justin nodded slightly before opening his own book. "Yea, crazy.." With hunched shoulders he looked over at Richards empty desk….. 

* * * 

Inside his mustang, Richard lit a cigarette in hopes for a little relief. " Fuck.." he whimpered out as he places his finger tips lightly to his temple. Justin really was straight after all! There was nothing he could to change Justin's feelings for sure now! He liked.. Lisa… " AUUH!!" Richard pounded his fist on the steering wheel at the thought of the two of them giggling! He took one last drag off his cigarette, flicked it out the window and started his car. 

Richard decided to head on home.. He didn't feel like driving anywhere else. If this had been any other day than today he would have gone off somewhere to have fun. Get high, Get drunk.. Any thing. But Richard was too sad to do any of those things… All he wanted was Justin… and nothing could replace that or take away the pain that Justin left in his heart. The fucking straight bastard! 

He slammed his car door after pulling up to the house. Thank god both his parents worked full time. He had the whole house to himself and no one to face. Once inside Richard lugged himself up the flight of stairs to his contemporary room. A room full of no personality. A room full of secrets.. A room full of someone he wasn't. 

Richard threw his red leather jacket over his computer chair and sighed as he looked around the gray room. " This sucks…." He felt tired. Tired from the inside out. His heart ached as did his throbbing head. Richard pulled his shirt over his head and took off his shoes. The bed was looking really good at the moment. He flung himself down on the fluffy covered mattress and hoped to try and get some sleep for once… the past few nights had been nothing but non stop Justin Thoughts. He rubbed his eyes before drifting off..

* * * 

The sun was setting and the warm winter raises were falling down over Richards eyes as he slept with his head facing the windows. He groaned as they burned through his eyelids . Richard mumbled to himself and turned over. 

An unexpected person pulled up to Richards house. He walked up to Richards door step and nervously rang the door bell. The dinging noise didn't even reach Richards ears. He was so far gone in a deep sleep he had so desperately needed. 

The door bell rang again. " C'mon.. I know you're home.." The young man said as he waited for Richard to open the door. He pressed the button again for the third time. 

Richard tossed and turned until he rolled over onto the floor from all the sounds." OH Jesus!! OW!" he rubbed his ass. "Damnit…" He huffed with lazy eyes. Who the hell was at his door? Richard stood up and looked at the clock. It read 3:30... The same time that Justin was suppose to show up for their tutoring.. But.. Nooooooo.. It couldn't be Justin. No way would he want to see Richard any more… He made it so clear yesterday… 

The bell rang once more. "Oh Shit." Richard yipped. Maybe it was him! Maybe he had changed his mind.. Maybe all of what happen had just been a bad dream! Richard ran down the stars as he tried to wake up as best as he could. " H-hold on!! I'm coming!" 

Justin took a few steps back on the porch " Fine Richard… I guess you don't wanna come out.." He said to himself before turning to the front steps. 

Richard stood straight and tried to brush himself off and collect his composer before opening the door. "Okay.. I can do this.." He cleared his throat then opened the door. Justin was already half way down the steps but turned as he heard the door finally open up. "J-Justin?" Richard choked out in a questioning tone. Justin turned completely around. "Hi.." Justin replied shyly.  
  
To be continued 


	4. Tutoring Part 4

"W-what are you.. Uhm..," Richard swallowed "..doing here?" He held on tightly to the door knob behind him as he stood there, shirtless in front of Justin. Oh Shit! He forgot to throw on clothes….. 

Justin's eyes drifted down to Richards chest then back to his eyes. " I.. Have to tell you.. something." 

Maybe.. A confession? A slight shiver crossed Richards body and it wasn't from the cold air either. A confession….maybe? Richard slightly grinned to himself. 

Justin chewed on the inside of his mouth. "Well, uh..d-do you wanna come in or something?" Richard asked in the most nicest way possible. Justin only stared at Richards form. He was beautiful, wrapped in his tan lanky body. "Justin?" Richard said. 

Justin shook his head trying to jolt from his gazing. " Uhm, what? Oh, yes.. I mean, sure… no, I mean.. is it… Okay?" He swallowed hard. Richard scratched at his brow " Yeah, as long as you don't hit me or anything." He huffed a laugh nervously and Justin slightly blushed. The two of them stood there in silence looking in different directions. 

Richard felt so awful for liking Justin.. For being so happy that he was there.. For wanting him to come inside his house… Justin's heart was racing as he stood on the steps. What was he going to tell Richard once he got inside.. Would he really tell him? Would Richard jump on him if he told him? He hoped so…. " Justin?!" Richard repeated. " What?" Justin replied. "Uhm, Are you gonna come in here and tell me something or what?" Richard rubbed his bare arms." Besides it's fucking cold out here … so.. Hurry up. All you have to do is move your legs an-" He was cut off by Justin " I know how to walk!" Justin stormed up the steps with his head down. He wasn't sure how to look at Richard and he was afraid that if he did he would turn bright red or do something stupid. 

They stood in the middle of Richards living room in silence. Richard had propped himself up against the door with his hands in his pockets and head tilted downward. Justin stood facing his back to Richard. "Richard..?" Justin choked out. 

"Yeah?" He lifted his head slowly to gaze at Justin's wonderful backside. He loved how his bobbed haircut fell in all even lengths in the back. Richards eyes sent soft at the thought of touching his strands. But the softness quickly left just as it had come as he saw Justin balls his hands into fists. " What you wrote…." Justin began. Richard turned his head to the left. "Justin… I- I don't think we should talk about this.. Maybe you should jus-" Justin spun around to face Richard who was placing his hand on the door knob. "NO!" 

Richard shot his gaze at Justin. "No?!" Richard replied with a disgusted face. "Dude, there's nothing to say about it.. You made it PERFECTLY clear how you feel.. So just.." He turned the knob and the door cracked open. " … Get out!" Ooh it pained Richard to say it to Justin.. It stung him in the worst pain than any bee could ever give him. But there wasn't anything to say… He was kicking himself for even letting Justin inside for hopes of a turn around. 

Justin lunged for the door and shut it with his forearm. " NO! I said." Justin stood only inches from Richard as he rested against the front door. Richard froze as he was locked in Justin's blue eyes. He was so… close… Richard could smell his hair he was so close! Justin's eyes were welling up with tears as he pursed his lips at Richard with an angry look. " Is it.. Is it really true?!" Richard only swallowed hard as he watched the boy he had been falling for almost break in front of him…. Richard choked out an answer, "Yes." He swallowed hard with sad frown. "I'm sorry Justin. It was never meant to be read by you.. I never meant to hurt you and I didn't want you to ever know." Richard backed away from his own front door where he left Justin standing alone with tears slowly rolling down his cheeks. 

"No…" Justin wiped his tears away with a shaking hand. " No , what?" Richard said as he grabbed a shirt from the laundry basket that had been sitting in a chair on the dining table close to the couch. Richard was trying so hard to keep his cool. To remain calm. To build the wall even higher that it already was. He wasn't going to let Justin know that he really wanted him. The sight of Justin crying silently made him ache inside… The stupid bastard. " Justin, I already told you that I was sorry. We don't have to continue tutoring." He pulled the black shirt over his head. " In fact, we can just pretend that we don't even know each other." He raised his eyes in a cocky manner. " How about that? You .. And Lisa can fuck all the time for all I care. She's pretty shitty in bed." He sneered. "I'm sure you'll find that out soon enough. She works like a snake." 

Justin lifted his eyes as he huffed. " Richard…. I don't like Lisa…." Richard laughed with his cigarette in his mouth. " That's funny." He flicked his zippo out and lit his little stick of death. " You sure coulda fooled me." He took a drag off it. " It-I.. I was just.. Lying to myself… Richard…" Justin tried so hard to get his words out to Richard. He knew that it wasn't going to be easy. Richards heart had been broken and Justin knew it. Richards fake little facade wasn't working to well. " Lying to yourself?" Richard replied seeming slightly interested. " W-whadda mean?" 

" She's not who I've been wanting…." Justin said. "Its.. .someone else.. Someone that I didn't think would have ever wanted me back…." Justin continued. Richard flicked his ashes in a drinking cup as he listened to Justin blab.. " Well, ya know, most girls won't want you.. So.. Whadda gonna do, eh?" He took another drag off it as he looked at Justin who's bottom lip was trembling quite terribly. Richard felt awful for saying what he was.. But Justin didn't want him. Or.. Was he trying to tell him that That person Justin wants is…. Him? With the realization , Richard slowly put the glass down along with his cigarette.

Justin wiped his tears again as he stood there on the door rug. What was he doing… Richard was breaking him down in every way possible… No.. He had to fight.. He had to tell him.. What he read wasn't a lie…. What he read was really how Richard felt… The way Richard acted that day was how he really was… Not this cocky son of a bitch that was standing before him… Justin had to press on with strength. " RICHARD! Shut up! Let me finish!" Richards eyes slightly glittered in the setting sun coming from the huge windows of the living room… Justin was serious… and Justin was commanding and didn't even care about all the mean things that Richard had JUST said to him. "Okay.." Richard whispered.

Justin clinched his fists again as he tried his best to sort out all his words and emotions.. " Richard, the reason why.. I got so mad was because, I didn't think that it would really happen. I didn't think that you would ever want me like that… I've wanted you for as long as I can remember seeing you too." Richard slowly opened his mouth with a trembling bottom lip to go along with it. 

" J-Justin….." he whispered. "Shut up Richard." Justin put his hand out in front of him. " I have to finish." He swallowed hard. "I was jealous when I saw you with Lisa … I was jealous because I thought that I had a thing for Lisa.. But I knew it was you that I wanted. I KNEW it was you." Tears slipped out again around Justin's cheeks and he paused to wipe them away. Richard was inching closer to Justin as he confessed his feelings. " The other night, I went to see Lisa… I had to know for sure if I liked her or not.. I had to kiss her…." Richard took another step closer. " And So, I did.. And I didn't really like it…. But I got confused and thought that I should just hide all the feelings I had for you. I .. I thought it was a joke!" He grabbed a fist full of hair as he sniffed his tears back. 

" I thought it was a joke Richard!" He whimpered out to Richard as he tilted his head up to see Richard frowning at Justin from a few feet away. " It's not….. Justin." Richard whimpered out. " Shut .. UP!" Justin choked out again and Richard did just that. he Shut up. " After seeing you leave from class just because she and I were conversing made me wonder if .. It wasn't a joke after all. I'm not good at this… I don't know how to deal with feelings!… I don't know anything! I don't.. I just…" Justin began losing himself in his agony and held on tight to both sides of his head with fists full of hair. The tears increased as his whole body slid down against the front door. " I dooon't." Justin moaned out. 

Richard quickly dashed down to Justin who was curling his knees up close to his chest. " Justin.. Oh god, Justin.." Richard gripped his hands around Justin's wrists. " Justin… Look up.. Justin look up at me!" Richard pleaded. " I-I can't." Justin cried out. " I don't know how to deal with this…" Justin sobbed uncontrollably while Richard held fast to his arms. " …. Just look up at me Justin!" Richard was now in tears himself. " Please…" Justin sniffed just before looking up to see the lanky blonde crying himself. " I Don't either Justin…. I didn't mean what I said about girls not wanting you.. I didn't mean it.. Or anything else I said… Justin.." Richard grabbed hold of Justin's face in his bony hands " I don't know how to deal with these feelings either….. I want you so bad." Justin choked on his tears as he locked his eyes with Richard. The beautiful model like boy… liked him.. It wasn't a Joke.. It was real… and he was really touching him.. And really crying over him.. 

To be continued. 


End file.
